Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
