It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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