i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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