btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
