I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize