Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
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