Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I touched a dick in church today
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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