i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
