she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
