You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
