dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Actions speak louder than pants.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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