I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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