butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wish I could teleport
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
