honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
