Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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