i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
