My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
