I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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