Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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