So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
