If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can you bring me the toilet please
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
