there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
