hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
