you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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