More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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