Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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