Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
