hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
