There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Two words: blizzard sex
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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