Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
