Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just found puke in my bra..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
