I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
