Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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