every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
