Your tits are I can't wait for
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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