rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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