recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
