i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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