This girl is more easily done than said...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
