I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
