It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
