You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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