I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he shaved USA in his pubs
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
