then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
