She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
