i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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