Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You ruined the universe
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
