Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
