...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
