well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
