I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
