NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
