I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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