yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
