I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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