then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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