There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
