"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
