I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
