My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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