I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
