This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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