i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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