I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
